Posts Tagged ‘hipsters’

You see this? This is what happens when hipster techies in the Mission litter their vintage textbook covers. Pick up after yourselves, people!

Last week, I posted a photo of Alley Barrel’s rules, which notably contains a tongue-in-cheek provision banning hipster conversations.

After some local coverage, several major sites covered the story. Why? I dunno, but it was amusing to watch — though a few commenters seemingly interpreted the hipster rule as VERY serious, most readers recognized that hipsters complaining about hipsters is the very type of irony that defines modern hipster culture.

This weekend, I went back and found a modified version of their rules. Changes to note:

• A footnote for the rule about no hipster conversations claims the rule was a “complaint verbatim from our neighbor.”
• A sixth rule has been added, which reads:
  

  not posting this on instagram, you hipster

Good thing I’m not hip enough to use Instagram.

Four Barrel’s back alley — aka Alley Barrel — hosts a weekend-only coffee service with occasional street food vendors.

Recently they posted a rule sheet, mostly consisting the please-don’t-piss-off-our-neighbors variety. But one rule stands out:

…not talking about annoying hipster topics, or who you fucked last night. You shouldn’t do that anyhow, but our neighbors actually can hear you.

Now while this particular rule may sound somewhat sarcastic, it’s worth noting that most people do not live vicariously through overheard stories of love conquests occurring at Crystal Castles concerts. So perhaps there is a shred of truth to this.

It sounds like a question fit for a parallel universe: could Orange County have more hipsters than San Francisco?

According to Priceonomics Blog, based on the number of fixed-gear bicycles, Orange County is the hippest place in America. The “Fixie Index” ranks San Francisco 4th — losing out to retro-ironic meccas LA and San Jose.

Here’s the bar graph:

Portland is surprisingly low on the list. And what about New York? Perhaps there’s more to being hip than owning a fixie: perhaps one also needs an asymmetric hairstyle, vintage clothes, and a six pack of PBR.

It occurred to me the other day that sheep are hipsters.

Look, I’m not saying that hipsters are sheep, that would be redundant. I’m saying that sheep — those cuddly wool and cheese producing mammals — are hipsters themselves.

Here’s a handy table explaining the similarities.

Sheep	Hipsters
Sheep wear wool sweaters naturally	Hipsters wear wool sweaters ironically
Sheep follow each other	Hipsters follow each other
Sheep have sheep dogs	Hipsters have trendy dogs
Sheep eat a vegan, gluten-free diet	Hipsters eat a vegan, gluten-free diet

Maybe these are all coincidences, you say. Maybe there’s nothing to this.

Well then here’s one last piece of evidence, courtesy of MissionMission contributor Ariel Dovas:

Yes, sheep hang out in Dolores Park! I rest my case.