Posts Tagged ‘clarionalley’

Schedule your day like a skater

January 11th, 2015

Wake Bake Skate
Spotted in Clarion Alley


Sure, you could go to the library or a bookstore and find a book about optimizing your daily schedule. But that would involve reading more than three words, and therefore is a sub-optimal use of your time.

Instead, take the advice of the sticker I found on a wall in Clarion Alley and schedule your life like a skater. Wake, bake, skate. Sometimes the best things in life are the simplest.

Face sculptures in Clarion Alley

July 13th, 2014

Bini faces in Clarion Alley


Much has been written on the mysterious Mayan-esque face sculptures that have been appearing over the city in recent months. The only clue is that if you pick them up and turn them over, they say “Bini” on the bottom.

But of course, there is no real mystery here: as Mission Local reported, the painted plaster faces are made by local artist Bruce Hallman, who’s perfectly fine with people “liberating” them.

For more photos, Hallman himself documents the little Bini sculptures on his Flickr stream and in a Flickr gallery.

Clarion Alley updates

March 27th, 2014

Here’s a few new pieces that caught my eye in the always-changing set of murals in Clarion Alley:



Clarion Alley

Blurry Simpsons

August 13th, 2013

Blurry Simpsons

Finally, a street art mural of the Simpsons that’s as blurry as my memories of a time when the show was still funny.

UPDATE: The Simpsons have now come into focus.

(Spotted in Clarion Alley.)

Piece of human shit ruins Lone Star Swan mural

January 11th, 2013

Lone Star Swan mural is ruined

Lately Clarion Alley has been hit by wave after wave of vandalism. Yes, this is why we can’t have nice things.

I’ve been curious as to how long it’d take before the wonderful Lone Star Swan mural would get defaced, and unfortunately I now have the answer. Over the past few days, some piece of human shit came in and spray painted their fucking tag all over the entire mural.

Taggers are like dogs that use spray paint to mark their territory instead of urine. At least piss washes off, a fact that places taggers a few steps below dogs in the intelligence ladder.

If you taggers insist on ruining art, at least have the decency to replace it with something meaningful. Perhaps a new piece, or some kind of social commentary? For fuck’s sake, it’s not that hard to add value instead of just shitting on other people’s work. Grow up.

Raised by cats

December 13th, 2012


It’s got to be tough being raised by wolves. But cats? You’ll spend the rest of your life acting like sort of a selfish jerk who’s obsessed with birds and laser pointers.

(Spotted in Clarion Alley.)

I am a Cybear now…

September 27th, 2012


The above teddy bear recently appeared on Clarion Alley. Red and blue like a 3D comic, his speech bubble reads “I am a cybear now…” The poor teddy bear. Someone needs to sew his little button eye back on.

Across the way on the pavement there’s a simplified version of the full painting:


Sad note

August 29th, 2012

Sad note

I noticed this sad handwritten letter stuck to the side of a building on Clarion Alley the other day. It reads:

My friend died last night. He was stabbed twice in the heart. He was dead before the abulence (sic) arrived. His name was Sol. He had an interview for admission to an art school today. he was talented. he was nice. He was selfless. he was tortured. He was loved. He loved. He had many friends. He is missed.

♥ friend of Sol #1

Ninja Turtle battles gentrification

June 26th, 2012

Anti-gentrificaiton TMNT

This new mini-piece on Clarion Alley shows Raphael of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles complaining about gentrification to a man with a rather unusual tongue condition.

Gentrification, according to this mural, is embodied by ice cream, condos, and “another boutique.” Who knew that food, shelter, and retail were to blame? Apparently can battle gentrification by starving ourselves and sleeping on the street — it’s that simple!

Of course, Raphael has more reason to complain than the rest of us; the city has been busily ripping out his home (i.e. the sewers) and replacing them with newer sewers, which one assumes are not protected by rent control.

Gangster Smurf

March 13th, 2012

Clarion St. Copyright violation

Today’s youth know only of the Smurf’s wild adventures with Neil Patrick Harris in NYC. They’re too soft to be told stories of Smurf-on-Smurf gang violence that broke out over the only Smurf female. Those were tough times in Smurf Village.

In reality, the young children I saw wandering down Clarion Alley with their parents were learning all kinds of life lessons about human excrement, public urination, and alcoholism. I don’t think they even noticed Gangster Smurf.