Posts Tagged ‘movies’

With a chilly and surprisingly rainy fall and winter here on the west coast, I had so much time to watch movies recently that I had to remind myself to slow down.

On these lists I only cover recent releases, even though I do watch older movies all the time. While I could review those here, I feel like I wouldn’t have much to add that hasn’t already been said better by someone else. Still, if the weather doesn’t improve or they don’t come out with enough new movies I might have little choice but to write about some classics here as well.

On with my movie reviews from the latter half of 2022.

Marcel the Shell with Shoes On

Marcel is a seashell with one googly eye, a mouth, and short legs with shoes at the end. He spends his time with his grandmother at a human-sized home that’s recently become an Airbnb. Dean, the current human guest at the home, happens to be a documentary filmmaker who decides to record parts of Marcel’s life and upload them to YouTube. These videos quickly become a hit as people want to find out more about Marcel.

Based on a web series of the same name — which you don’t need to see before watching this — the movie is a seamless mix of live action and stop motion animation. 

Missing the community of his fellow seashells and other living inanimate objects that used to be a part of his life, Marcel lands an interview with his favorite news anchor, Lesley Stahl of 60 Minutes.

In the hands of lesser filmmakers this could have been an annoying or obnoxious movie. Instead it comes across as a silly but heartwarming little movie, if a nonsensical one.

Best moment: Finding out why Marcel needs honey.

Rating: 9/10

Crimes of the Future

David Cronenberg is back doing creepy body horror sci-fi films again (think Videodrome, Naked Lunch, Existenz, etc.) In this movie we’re shown a world where people voluntarily undergo unnecessary surgery to have experimental organs grown in their bodies. This leads to a form of synthetic evolution in which people take on strange new abilities, such as eating and digesting plastic.

Oh, and some characters find this surgery sexually arousing.

Perhaps the biggest question looming over this film is this: Do we really want a movie about medical horrors in the age of COVID-19? I strongly suspect the answer is no.

In many ways this feels like an older, wiser director trying to recapture the magic of his earlier works. Aside from the aforementioned films, Cronenberg adapted J.G. Ballard’s novel Crash to the big screen in the 90’s — if you want a movie about incomprehensible erotic desires I’d go with that one instead.

Best moment: The line “Surgery is the new sex.”

Rating: 5/10

Nope

Jordan Peele is back with his third horror/dark comedy film. Without going into spoilers, the owner of a small ranch that trains horses for Hollywood is killed in a mysterious accident. Or is it an accident? His adult children, the quiet O.J. and his outgoing sister Emerald, take over the business and quickly discover a string of strange occurrences at and around the ranch.

To get to the bottom of it the two get the assistance of a slightly offbeat Fry’s Electronics employee to install outdoor cameras. It’s not exactly clear when this film takes place but apparently Fry’s Electronics is still around in the world of this movie.

Compared to Peele’s previous two films, Get Out and Us, Nope is a bit longer, leans a lot more on CGI, and jumps between comedy and horror more easily. The only part of the movie that didn’t work for me is a subplot involving an accident on the set of a sitcom. Despite fitting in with the theme and adding to the horror horror, it’s only tangentially related to the main story and felt like it was almost out of a different and more terrifying movie. 

Best moment: I could come up with so many best moments, but for me personally just seeing Fry’s Electronics again made me giggle.

Rating: 8/10

Funny Pages

High school teenager Robert is an aspiring comic book artist who’s encouraged by his art teacher to make his work more “subversive.” The teacher shares some comics he drew, which look like a cross between Robert Crumb and something from the early years of Mad Magazine.

The movie seems to take the teacher’s advice to heart as it repeatedly subverts Robert’s wishes and desires at every turn. He quits high school, moves out of his parent’s house and into the most disgusting basement apartment in New Jersey. He meets the unstable and temperamental Wallace, who he immediately idolizes due to Wallace’s past employment at Image Comics. To say much more would be heading into spoiler territory as this is a fairly short film at under 90 minutes.

One aspect of this movie that I haven’t seen discussed elsewhere is the overall look. Most of the actors are very average or even a little weird looking — which is typical for indie movies, but here the characters almost look like Robert Crumb’s caricature drawings. The color palette of the film is very neutral which gives it the feel of a late 60’s/early 70’s movie (think Harold and Maude.) Despite this it’s clearly set in the modern era with mobile phones and laptops.

First time filmmaker Owen Kline wrote and directed this movie, and was produced by the Safdie Brothers. While it doesn’t have the same big screen theatrical presence as the Sadfie’s own movies the sense of tragic comedy fits well with theirs. 

Although I think it’s a solid effort for an indie film for a first timer, I have to criticize the uneven tone. It’s one thing to flip between drama and dark comedy but there are a few genuine laugh-out-loud moments scattered in that didn’t fit for me. Maybe the movie needs more of those, maybe it needs fewer? 

Best moment: Everything that happens in the dilapidated “Right Aid” pharmacy (not to be confused with national chain Rite Aid, of course.)

Rating: 4/10

Day Shift

In the sunny suburbs of Southern California, Bud (Jamie Foxx) is a recently divorced vampire hunter who desperately needs money to provide for his daughter. To make ends meet he begs his way back into the vampire hunter union. Bud is allowed in on the condition that he’s partnered with their timid office drone Seth (Dave Franco.) Oh, and of course Snoop Dogg shows up as an old school vampire hunter in a cowboy outfit.

This movie is a real mixed bag of highs and lows. Aside from the great cast, the fight scenes are completely over the top fun, and most of the comedy works.

Unfortunately there’s a shocking amount of expository dialog about vampires that belongs in a different movie. The audience just wants some vampire fights and hijinks, not some appendix describing vampire taxonomy. While I don’t think the movie deserves a stake through the heart, it could have used more time in the editing room.

Best moment: “I didn’t pee myself this time.”

Rating: 5/10

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story

When I first heard about this movie the idea of a fictional take on the life of Weird Al didn’t do much for me. First of all I love his cult classic movie UHF, what more could this one have to offer? Second, how could a fictional autobiography be funny?

Well, I was wrong on both counts.

Of course for those who aren’t a fan of Weird Al already, I doubt this movie will do anything to change that. This is one of those movies that’s self-selecting from the title alone.

While the movie starts out feeling like a parody of one of those “Behind the Music” documentaries it gets sillier as it gradually and then entirely derails from that premise.

The casting is surprisingly good with Daniel Radcliffe impersonating Weird Al and hamming it up. Various comedians appear throughout the movie, including Weird Al himself as a sarcastic record executive.

The one thing that would have much been funnier — and I can’t put my finger exactly on why — would be to have Radcliffe sing throughout the movie instead of lip syncing to Weird Al’s vocals.

Best moment: “You’ll find out what we make at the factory when you WORK at the factory!”

Rating: 8/10

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

Writer/director Rian Johnson followed up to his previous film Knives Out (which I previously reviewed here) with this new mystery featuring detective Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig.) Don’t worry if you haven’t seen the previous film, they’re both self-contained stories.

Billionaire tech mogul Miles Bron (Edward Norton) invites his quirky but influential friends to his private island in Greece for a weekend with a murder mystery game, and Blanc comes along for the ride. Unfortunately things don’t go to plan and a real murder takes place, leaving Blanc scrambling to find answers before the police can make it to the island.

I thought Glass Onion compared favorably to Knives Out in terms of humor and pacing. The final act pulls off that rare perfect murder mystery ending, which I won’t spoil here.

Best moment: Personally, I laughed way too hard when the camera zoomed out to reveal Blanc was eavesdropping on a conversation by hiding behind a giant sculpture of an ass.

Rating: 9/10

Aqua Teen Forever: Plantasm

Back in 2001 when Adult Swim debuted late at night their first batch of original cartoons included Aqua Teen Hunger Force. The series of 15 minute episodes is about the adventures of three anthropomorphic food characters, the various aliens and robots that show up, and of course their neighbor Carl.

Aqua Teen isn’t for everyone, but if you’ve somehow read this far you might as well spend a few minutes watching an episode or two to see if you find it funny or not.

In the time since we last caught up with our “heroes” they have broken up; Frylock got a job in IT, Meatwad is volunteering at a dog shelter, and Master Shake is at a homeless shelter telling tall tales about his past. When an evil corporation called Amazin threatens the world, the gang has to get back together and fight for their own lives.

For those who remember the first and previous film, 2007’s Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters, you’d be right to be skeptical of this one. My two cents is that Platasm has a story coherent enough that I could laugh at the jokes instead of trying to figure out what was going on — even if Aqua Teen is well past its prime.

This time around, the movie is more focused with a clever framing device. I also appreciated that they jump right back into the action without directly acknowledging that the show has been off the air for several years.

What I would have liked to see more of though is the dynamic between the three main characters. Their ridiculous living room conversations were often the funniest part of the show, but here Frylock spends most of the movie separated from Meatwad and Master Shake.

Best moment: “Screw you, environment!”

Rating: 6/10

Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio

Fans of the classic tale Pinocchio had not one but three movies to choose from in 2022, from Disney’s remake of their own classic movie adaptation to the straight to the dollar store bargain bin Pinocchio: A True Story.

And then there’s Guillermo Del Toro’s version: a unique stop motion adaptation set during the Italian fascist era. 

What works are the visuals: the character designs, the stop motion animation, and the computer graphics give this movie a completely unique look. What falls flat is when the movie halfheartedly remembers that it’s billed as a musical and a character goes off to sing for a couple minutes.

My guess is that even though this movie is clearly aimed at kids, it’s also a reprieve for even the most jaded parents who are sick of the usual Disney and DreamWorks kids movies — Del Toro’s artistic sensibilities at the very least make this movie stand out from the rest. At the end of the day though it’s still a retread of a story you already know.

Best moment: “You may have no strings, but I control you.”

Rating: 7/10

I’ve never tried to come up with any sort of “theme” for the movies I review in these posts, I just watch whatever interests me and try my best to summarize my thoughts.

But this time around — especially compared to my previous movie review round-up — all of these are relatively small-ish budget films. Best of all, none of them overstayed their welcome with lengthy runtimes.

So let’s get started with my own reviews of the movies I got to see in the first six months (give or take) of 2022.

Strawberry Mansion

Tax auditor Mr. Preble has been sent to the home of an elderly woman named Bella to audit her dreams. In this near-future dystopia, all dreams are recorded and taxed.

In reliving Bella’s dreams, Preble slowly falls in love with her younger self. Meanwhile in reality Bella introduces Preble to a homemade device that serves as an ad blocker, removing the product placement in his dreams. 

This might be one of the better depictions of dreams in a movie, though the movie itself has such an ethereal soundtrack and unusual visuals that it’s often difficult to discern what’s supposed to be a dream vs. what’s “real.” This is a narrative choice of course, and it’s fun to think about it, but it’s also distracting when you’re trying to piece together the story threads. Perhaps this is one of those puzzle films that rewards multiple viewings.

Between the film’s short runtime and the sheer oddity of it all, you won’t have time to worry too much about what’s real and what’s happening in Preble’s mind, or even exactly how he’s inserted himself into Bella’s previous dreams in the first place.

Strawberry Mansion doesn’t fall into any normal film genre. There are aspects of horror, romance, and even science fiction but I wouldn’t categorize it as any of those. If I had to put it on a shelf in a video store, I’d put it somewhere near wherever David Lynch films are displayed and call it a day.

Best moment: Two words: “chicken shake.”

Rating: 7/10

Benedetta

Director Paul Verhoeven (RoboCop, Starship Troopers, Showgirls) brings his over-the-top style to a story about a young nun in 17th century Italy named Benedetta. (Despite the setting, the dialog is entirely in French.) Benedetta seems to have mysterious powers and visions… or does she?

Fast forward until Benedetta is an adult, a troubled young woman named Bartolomea joins the convent and the two immediately begin a complicated, guilt-filled lesbian affair.

This movie made some Catholics angry, which I think says a lot more about them than this movie — have they never looked into the history of their own church? This movie isn’t even attempting to make a statement about the modern day Catholic church.

The problem is there’s not much to the story; the main takeaway seems to be that religious fervor and blasphemy are two sides of the same coin. But that’s far too obvious to be a revelation.

Best moment: Watching the bishop’s plans come tumbling down.

Rating: 4/10

Jackass Forever

Opening with a lengthy dick joke, Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Wee Man, and the gang return for another round of pranks and self torture.

There’s a clear passing of the torch as it’s acknowledged that it’s been twenty years after the Jackass TV show, introducing both new cast members with many of the original, now gray-haired ones.

I’m not sure there’s any point reviewing this movie, either you think it’s funny to watch a guy get bee stings on his testicles or you don’t. But I will say that there’s not much new ground to cover here; if you’ve seen one Jackass movie, you’ve kind of seen them all. At the very least you know what to expect by now.

Best moment: The rattlesnake fake out prank.

Rating: 6/10

Everything Everywhere All At Once

Evelyn Wong (Michelle Yeoh) is the owner of a failing laundromat that’s in trouble with the IRS. Her domestic life is arguably in worse condition: she takes her husband for granted, is overbearing towards her daughter, and is hiding the fact that her daughter is a lesbian from her very traditional father (James Hong.)

To make matters significantly more complicated, this isn’t the only Evelyn Wong. There’s an entire multiverse of different universes out there for all of us where we made different decisions and ended up very differently. The Evelyn we meet has to tap into and travel across the multiverse in order to stop the chaos of “Jobu Tupaki” (you’ll have to watch it yourself to see who this villain turns out to be.)

As a comedy/action/drama there’s a lot of ground to cover, but the movie easily gets the most laughs and the most action from jumping to different universes, many of which are entirely ridiculous like a universe where humans evolved to have useless floppy hot dog fingers.

Unfortunately while the multiverse concept ties the entire movie together, it’s not explained very well. At first to borrow the powers of other versions of herself Evelyn needs to wear two of those old fashioned Bluetooth earpieces (one in each ear) and then do weird things to activate them. After a while that no longer seems to apply; and for the characters who are recruited from other multiverses to become villains, where are they getting their special Bluetooth earpieces? 

All of which is to say, this is a movie where you’re better off sitting back and enjoying the ride without thinking about it too much. I have heard the original cut was much longer and this is one of those rare cases where I wonder if maybe they cut it down a little too much. 

What does work is Yeoh’s performance. There are very few actors able to convincingly switch between drama, comedy, and action — in one scene. She’s the glue that holds this entire messy movie together.

Best moment: The universe where Pixar’s Ratatouille is real. Sort of.

Rating: 8/10

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

Part of the reason Nicholas Cage became such an iconic actor over the years are his seemingly wild acting choices. Some have criticized him for this, though I’d counter that if you look at his filmography his most ridiculous acting only happens in ridiculous movies. He’s perfectly capable of playing it straight when the role calls for it.

In this oddball comedy Cage plays it both ways… as versions of himself. Those who wrote him off before ought to reevaluate Cage after watching this one: are you laughing at him, or are you laughing with him?

Nick Cage (Nicholas Cage, but abbreviated Nick instead of Nic) is an actor who’s failing as an actor, a father, and also failing to pay the bills. Fortunately for the latter his agent has found him a quick fix: a Nick Cage superfan in Spain named Javi (Pedro Pascal) wants to fly him there for a party, with an appearance fee of one million dollars.

Cage and Javi end up having a bromance of sorts before the party even begins, though Cage is quickly kidnapped by CIA agents who tell him that Javi is an extremely dangerous international arms dealer. The only person who can save the CIA operation at this point is Cage, who turns out to have little in common with the brave heroes and villains he plays in movies.

Throughout the movie Cage hallucinates a younger and more successful version of himself that he calls “Nicky.” Nicky has his young manic energy and wears the exact same clothes from this real Nicholas Cage TV interview. The deaging visual effects are impressive for a low budget movie.

This movie is absolutely littered with references to real Cage movies like Con Air, The Rock, Face/Off, Wicker Man, etc. and there may be a joke here or there that will go over your head. But that’s fine, the in-jokes aren’t the primary focus.

Although hilarious, the sheer number of plot twists can make it a little hard to follow toward the end unless you’re paying close attention.

Best moment: Nicky looking at his older self and screaming “You’re Nick! FUCKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING! Ah! Whew! Cage!” 

Rating: 9/10

Jerry & Marge Go Large

Recently retired cereal production manager Jerry (Bryan Cranston) discovers a loophole in a state lottery that allows him to tilt the odds in his favor — if he gambles enough money on it. When his wife Marge (Annette Bening) finds out about the lottery winnings she surprises him by encouraging to continue.

Soon the other neighborhood retirees are contributing and they’re all sharing in the wealth… only for some university students to notice the same loophole, pitting the two groups against each other.

What works about this movie is the all-star cast which also includes Michael McKean, Larry Wilmore, and Rainn Wilson. What doesn’t work is taking a (mostly) true story and trying to shoehorn it into a dramedy format. I suspect this would have been more interesting if it stayed truer to the story and focused more on the central characters.

The weakest part is when the drama hinges on a “generation war” between retirees and young university students competing over the same prize pot. The movie seems like it wants us to root for the retirees, but honestly the whole conflict is too contrived to make me care.

Best moment: Larry Wilmore’s character always seems to say exactly what I’m thinking.

Rating: 3/10

CatVideoFest 2022

After a two year pandemic hiatus, everyone’s favorite cat film festival is back in theaters with a new collection of short cat videos. These short videos go from videos people recorded of their cats behavior, to heartwarming videos about taking care of cats, to animated shorts. A little something for everyone.

As always, the proceeds from this film are donated to local cat rescue charities.

In case this isn’t the kind of thing for you, maybe you’d be more interested in the first ever DogVideoFest which will supposedly come out later this year.

Best moment: After a cat tries and fails repeatedly to jump over a gate, it simply walks through the bars as though the gate wasn’t even there.

Rating: Once again I’m unsure how to rate a collection of cat videos. I will say I’ve seen a couple of these before, but it’s always more fun to watch funny videos with an audience.

It seems like it had been been ages since I set foot inside any type of live venue, but since my last movie review roundup I have started seeing movies in theaters again. Specifically at my local Alamo Drafthouse, which follows San Francisco’s strict vaccination requirements. I saw about half of these at that theater and the other half at home.

So let’s get into it: my reviews of the movies I watched in the second half of 2021.

Dune: Part One

Just like Burning Man, almost everyone forgets that the novel Dune came out of San Francisco’s late 1960’s hippie ideology. And with both there’s politics, drugs, and some unusual ideas about religion/witchcraft all filtered through a psychedelic lens. Also, both involve a lot of sand.

How do you take a long, almost impenetrably complex story and distill it into one movie? It turns out you quietly add “part one” to the title and end it abruptly. Sort of a bait and switch, though I’m not sure how anyone could squeeze an extremely dense 600 page novel into a two and a half hour film.

I don’t feel the need to comment on the story because you’ve had what, like 50 years to read it? In that time it’s also already been adapted for film, television, video games, and comics.

The short version of this part of the story is that House Atreides is selected to be the new operator of the most valuable planet in the universe, a harsh desert planet called Arrakis. Paul Atreides, son of the Duke, has been trained in various skills… including one he technically shouldn’t have been.

What I will say is this is a film that captures the scope of the novel both in the story and in its physical universe. At the same time though between the real footage and the stunningly realistic visual effects, the most distracting thing to me is that the actors’ faces are never covered in sweat when they’re on a hot desert planet.

The cliffhanger (or perhaps just “hanger”?) ending is a double edged sword here. On the one hand it more or less completes the journey of Paul Atreides to the midpoint of the story, but I have no idea if this will make audiences want to see the sequel or leave the theater scratching their heads.

Best moment: The way The Voice is portrayed when the Reverend Mother uses it on Paul.

Rating: 8/10 (Caveat: I’ve read the novel.)

CODA

As a Child Of Deaf Adults (or CODA) Ruby is the only hearing person in her family. They don’t understand her love of music and they’re not well adapted into the hearing society around them. The father works on a fishing boat barely making ends meet with the help of his family.

When Ruby joins her school choir it exacerbates the rifts between her and her family. In an unexpected twist on your typical coming of age drama, Ruby’s deaf family has to learn how to adapt to her.

While I understand Ruby’s core struggle, I don’t really buy her family’s reluctance toward her interest in music. The drama feels like too much of a manufactured conflict to me. Yes, the family “translator” is growing up and leaving the nest with a talent her family will never be able to appreciate, but first of all it’s totally normal to appreciate a loved one’s interests even if you’re not a fan, and second they were clearly getting by before Ruby was born.

The one thing this movie absolutely nails is the casting. Ruby’s older brother and parents are portrayed by deaf actors. Ruby is portrayed by Emilia Jones, a teenage actor. Every member of the cast is pretty much perfect for their role. 

Best moment: Learning the heartbreaking reason Ruby was scared to audition.

Rating: 5/10

No Time to Die

I guess the James Bond I technically “grew up with” was Pierce Brosnan. Thing is, after GoldenEye all those movies were such a letdown. 

So when Daniel Craig showed up in Casino Royale with a new spin on Bond as a vulnerable character whose job was slowly taking its toll on him, I was ready to give the Bond movies another chance. For the most part I’ve enjoyed what I’ll call the “Craig-Bond” movies.

No Time To Die opens with what’s arguably a prequel to the Craig-Bond movies before jumping to the modern day where Bond has finally retired and settled down with his new lover. If that sounds ominous, congratulations: you remember the end of Casino Royale.

This movie tries to pack in a lot in order to conclude the Craig-Bond era. It has to do three things to succeed:

1. Follow directly from the previous movie, Spectre.
2. Tell a new Bond story with at least one new antagonist.
3. Get the last word in on all the Craig-Bond characters and stories and go out with a bang.

Normally if I had to categorize these I’d argue the first one is the biggest problem: the events of Spectre were too large to ignore, even though it was a critically panned movie (personally I loved Spectre despite its idiotic plot twist.) The third item is also a challenge since wrapping things up naturally while nodding back to the past can take on a clip show vibe too easily.

Alas, I was wrong: the part that doesn’t work here is the typical Bond saves the day story. The villain’s goal is sort of a challenge to pinpoint and worse yet it involves something the writers obviously didn’t see coming: the plan involves a large scale bio weapon attack. Suddenly it’s obvious why this was one of the first movies delayed by COVID-19.

The other problem is its length. At nearly three hours it feels like a long goodbye at times. If I were to edit it down I think I’d cut down several of the action sequences, especially the long gun fight sequence near the end.

As an overall fan of the Craig-Bond era I appreciated the thoughtful approaches to concluding the main character arcs. While I won’t defend every narrative choice in these films, the overall themes of betrayal and death that have permeated the era get a satisfying end.

Best moment: M reading a classic Jack London quote at the end. Weird choice but it totally fits, particularly given their seemingly shared views on eugenics.

Rating: 8/10

The French Dispatch

It’s impossible to describe a Wes Anderson movie without acknowledging that it’s a Wes Anderson movie. You kind of know what you’re going to expect: lots of scenes that spring to life like an automaton, a distinct color palette, and a cast of quirky actors like Owen Wilson, Frances McDormand, and Bill Murray. But this movie has a specific visual trick up its sleeve: with its setting in France, it leans heavily into the look of French New Wave cinema — and French animation.

The movie covers three stories, each from a writer at a New Yorker-style magazine written by Americans living in France. Briefly, the first concerns an incarcerated painter, the second about a student revolution, and the third covers an extremely unlikely kidnapping. Each story is presented by the fictional writer behind the piece, and bookended by the events in the editor’s room at the offices of The French Dispatch. 

Though it’s kind of challenging to review an anthology movie like this, I’d say anyone who enjoyed The Grand Budapest Hotel or Anderson’s other recent films should check this one out. Personally I thought this was much funnier than Grand Budapest.

For some reason this movie only opened at 55 theaters nationwide, and the one I went to was sold out four nights in a row, if not more.

Best moment: The whole kidnapping sequence.

Rating: 8/10

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

Estranged daughter and grandchildren of deceased Ghostbuster Egon Spengler (RIP Harold Ramis) are forced to move out of their NYC apartment and into Egon’s old farm in the middle of nowhere. Soon, they find themselves restoring his crazy technology and capturing ghosts.

Although Egon’s granddaughter Phoebe is the heart of the movie, her smart but ridiculous summer school teacher Mr. Grooberson (Paul Rudd, perfectly cast in this role) somehow serves as both the only living person who remembers the events from the original two movies and serves as the main source of comedy. 

How do you make a sequel to a movie like 1984’s Ghostbusters? It’s a question that doesn’t have an easy answer. Ghostbusters II was largely panned when it came out, partly for being too similar to the original. The 2016 reboot, well… not great. Afterlife takes a unique approach, although it does bank too heavily on nostalgia at times. 

I think there’s basically one problem with making a sequel to Ghostbusters, and it’s a big one: nobody knows why the first movie works as well as it does, it’s a classic “lightning in a bottle” situation.

Oh and to add to the confusion, a whole generation of us grew up with a cartoon show called The Real Ghostbusters. That show was made for a significantly younger audience in mind, muddying the waters about the target audience for a movie with sex jokes and tobacco use.

All of which is to say, I think it was wise for Afterlife to take a sharp turn and focus on a new set of characters in a very different environment to start with a clean-ish slate. This seems to be the general template for new follow ups to old movies, aka the “legacy sequel.”

The big problem with this movie is it just isn’t as funny as it thinks it is. Most of the attempts at humor land with a thud. I’m not sure if it’s the script’s fault or if some of the parts are simply miscast. Certainly none of the main characters here match Bill Murray or Dan Akroyd at the height of their comedy careers.

Best moment: Anytime Paul Rudd is on screen. 

Rating: 6/10

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

I’m not a big fan of comic book movies, and I’ll admit I watched this one entirely because it’s partially set in San Francisco.

Shaun/Shang-Chi (Simu Liu) and his friend Katy (comedian Awkwafina) are perfectly cast as coworkers at the valet stand at the Fairmont Hotel on Nob Hill.

The “set in San Francisco” side of the movie is a mixed bag. On the one hand the establishing shots are pretty generic, but on the other the Chinese characters in the movie live in the Richmond District instead of the obvious choice of Chinatown. And that’s totally accurate — there are cultural enclaves all over the city and in the Richmond in particular where you might walk across the street from a Russian neighborhood and find yourself in a Chinese neighborhood. So thumbs up to the location scouting there.

On the other hand, what sort of kills the local theme is a fight on a “San Francisco Transit” bus (I guess Muni is a trademark?) which takes an unexpectedly fast route from Noe Valley to the Stockton Tunnel to Ghirardelli Square. This would be unforgivable if it weren’t such a memorable and well choreographed fight sequence.

That’s the main problem with Shang-Chi: it’s pretty fun when it’s a Kung Fu movie, but by the end it’s yet another big, poorly done CGI battle where you can’t really tell what the stakes are, let alone what’s happening on the screen. I get the distinct feeling they ran over budget on this one and just had to throw an ending together quickly.

Best moment: All the hand-to-hand combat scenes are incredibly well done. Too bad there aren’t more of them.

Rating: 3/10

Last Night In Soho

Fashion design student Ellie (Thomasin McKenzie) moves from rural England to London to continue her education. She clearly doesn’t fit in with the big city crowd, and her supernatural visions are beginning to interfere in her new friendships.

Everything seems (relatively) normal until Ellie moves out of the dorms and into her own apartment. That’s when her visions really become troubling.

Suddenly, everything skips back to the 1960’s (or does it?) and Ellie meets a woman named Sandie (Anya Taylor-Joy) who’s nearly her doppelganger, albeit a much more confident one. Sandie is somehow involved with a creepy man named Jack (Doctor Who’s Matt Smith.) These “time jumps” become increasingly blurred, terrifying, and chaotic.

Pretty much everything here works, especially the music and visuals — the psychedelic visuals against the streets of London look like something from a Hitchcock-meets-Argento thriller. Without spoiling anything the big reveals at the end were shocking and absolutely not what I expected.

Unlike most of today’s movies where the pacing lulls in the middle, Last Night In Soho is more of a slow burn. Personally I like that better, but I can also see how some people might check out after the first 30 minutes if they don’t feel invested right away.

I have to praise Matt Smith for this one. Despite being a friendly familiar face, he’s absolutely terrifying here. Really got under my skin.

Best moment: When Ellie breaks through to Sandie.

Rating: 8/10

The Matrix Resurrections

Of all the “legacy sequel” films (see also: Ghostbusters: Afterlife) not many interrogate what that legacy even means… except for this one. 

Our hero Thomas Anderson/Neo is back, and is now under the belief that his previous memories came from a video game series he created called “The Matrix Trilogy.” Suddenly their parent company is going to make a new Matrix game, with or without them. Hey, meta commentary on why this movie was made! And if that wasn’t enough, a returning character even threatens to make a spinoff.

The problem with this movie is basically everything else.

First, there are so many scenes from the original Matrix movie that it seems like a rehash. It’s arguably worse than Star Wars: The Force Awakens because at times it straight up splices footage from the first film in instead of coming up with an excuse to recreate those scenes.

Second, the original Matrix trilogy started exploring pitfalls with the concept of simulation theory but that all seems to have been swept aside here in favor of further exploring the side characters. It’s just not compelling storytelling when the core of the story is largely ignored.

My biggest issue though are some of the fight sequences. Even at its worst the original trilogy had absolutely immaculate fight sequences. In this movie they’re very hit or miss, with the massive miss of the train fight. That entire sequence looks like something from a straight-to-video movie staring Steven Seagal. Yes, it’s that bad.

The strangest thing about this movie is that it was released at all when it’s clearly a middle finger to the studio and intended to slam the door shut on the franchise. But oddly that’s the most satisfying thing about the movie — it’s completely confident in its lack of ambition in extending a story that’s already been done to death.

Best moment: “Are memories turned into fiction any less real? Is reality based in memory nothing but fiction?”

Rating: 4/10

Once again it’s movie time! Similar to my last movie review roundup I watched all of these movies from home, although now that most of us are vaccinated a few theaters have reopened. Personally I can’t see myself going back to theaters until things are fully back to normal — no temperature screenings, masks that stop you from eating popcorn, etc. That’s my big hope for the movie review roundup next time: actually seeing movies in theaters again.

Or maybe that’s just a pipe dream. Either way without further ado, here are the movies I watched in the first half of this year.

Synchronic

Steve and Dennis, a pair of paramedics in New Orleans, come across some victims with unusual injuries. The injuries turn out to be related to Synchronic, a new recreational designer drug. At first this might sound an awful lot like the 2011 film Limitless but the similarities end there.

See, the hallucinogenic effects of Synchronic are not hallucinogenic at all — the effects are the result of unpredictable time travel. When Dennis’ daughter disappears after using the drug Steve takes it upon himself to administer the drug on himself in order to rescue her.

Sometimes this movie is listed as a sci-fi horror, yet it’s more of a sci-fi drama. After the mysterious opening sequence it’s not scary or suspenseful enough to be a horror movie at all. 

The main problem with this movie is it takes the concept and explores it in an interesting way, but then takes it way too seriously for how ridiculous and illogical it is in the first place. The tone is very uneven — personally I think it would have worked better as a comedy as some of the film’s strongest beats are firmly in the comedy realm.

Best moment: Steve systematically exploring and documenting how Synchronic works.

Rating: 5/10

Willy’s Wonderland

After experiencing car trouble a mysterious mute unnamed tough guy (Nicholas Cage) accepts a job for one night as the janitor at Willy’s Wonderland — a dilapidated Chuck E. Cheese knockoff — in exchange for car repairs.

The small town where Willy’s is located has a surprising number of missing persons cases, all of whom had accepted a similar offer in the past.

Where did they go? Well obviously the animatronics at Willy’s come to life at night and murder people. A band of young townsfolk arrive to burn the place down and warn the new janitor, only to find he’s completely unphased by the situation.

Armed with nothing more than cleaning supplies and a steady diet of caffeinated sodas, Cage’s janitor takes on the deadly animatronics one by one, tearing them apart before wrapping their remains in garbage bags as though they are nothing more than the trash he was hired to remove. Unfortunately most of the locals aren’t so fearless.

Played more for laughs than scares, Willy’s Wonderland is like if you took a supernatural slasher movie and then tossed in an action hero with predictable yet satisfying results. It’s simple, dark, and funny in all the right ways. While it’s far from perfect I wish more ridiculous films like this existed.

Some people have pointed out the similarities between this movie and the Five Nights at Freddy’s video game series. While there’s certainly a resemblance, I think this isn’t entirely fair for two reasons. First the idea of animatronics coming to life is only a slight twist on the age old nightmare about statues coming to life. Second, the overall stories are otherwise dissimilar.

My main caveat with this film is the sloppy fight scene editing. I realize this was shot on a low budget with a tight schedule, but these scenes are so integral to the story that it would have benefited from having a fight scene coordinator to give these scenes a coherent flow. That said the puppeteering work does capture the threatening nature of the animatronic creatures.

Best moment: When the first animatronic draws blood and Cage’s expression slowly turns to an evil grin before he goes absolutely apeshit.

Rating: 7/10

Bad Trip

Chris (Eric Andre) gets into an embarrassing situation with a vacuum cleaner at a car wash right as he spots his high school crush, Maria, for the first time in years. Meanwhile his best friend Bud is working at a computer repair store when Bud’s sister Trina pulls up in a bright pink car and robs the store.

This sets a few events into motion: After getting fired from the car wash Chris gets a new job at a smoothie shop and runs into his crush again, who tells him she has an art gallery in New York City. Trina is sent to jail, while Chris and Bud decide to “borrow” her pink car to take a road trip from Florida to NYC in an attempt to track down Chris’ crush again. Unfortunately for the two of them, Trina breaks out of jail, steals a police car, and chases after them to retrieve her beloved pink car.

To be clear the story is really nothing more than a loose framework on which to hang a bunch of hidden camera pranks. Like most comedy films the story both supports the jokes and occasionally feels like padding for time. However some of the funniest and most extreme moments aren’t in the trailer which is very unusual for a comedy.

Many reviewers compared this to the Borat movies but I think that largely misses the point — the majority of the people being pranked in the Borat movies are completely aware they’re on camera, whereas here they are only made aware they’re being filmed after the fact. This is made clear in scenes played over the credits with the people being pranked laughing with the actors and crew as the hidden cameras are pointed out to them.

The more obvious comparison is to the film’s star Eric Andre’s The Eric Andre Show which features hidden camera pranks in every episode. There’s one prank in this movie that’s essentially recycled from The Eric Andre Show but fortunately it’s a good one, and the reaction here is more shocking.

As a fan of The Eric Andre Show I think other fans will enjoy it, as will fans of cringey hidden camera pranks in general. Be aware there’s a lot of dick jokes, fake vomit, etc. If you’re on the fence go watch an episode of the show first to get a sense of the type of humor involved since each episode is only 11 minutes long.

I have to point out that Tiffany Haddish who plays Trina here is absolutely perfect for the role. She comes across as both sympathetic and terrorizing, and in one memorable scene repeatedly whips the patrons of a diner into an absolute frenzy. 

Best moment: The ending, which I should have seen coming in hindsight. 

Rating: 9/10

Come True

“Dreams aren’t what you think” has been a staple premise in scary stories since… well probably as long as humans have been around.

Come True takes this basic concept and tosses in some science fiction in a way that makes you think “Hey, remember Inception? I could be watching that instead.”

The story focuses on a teen runaway named Sarah who joins a sleep study just for a place to sleep. All is not as it seems of course, and this mysterious dream study which turns out to be a slight twist on the “Ever dream this man?” meme.

While Come True does an admirable job of amping up the suspense, it never quite manages to build to anything worthwhile. It’s like a rollercoaster with a really big lift hill but the drops aren’t very sudden and the corkscrew loop is pretty boring.

I’m not going to beat it around the bush: the ending to this movie is both dumb and completely unoriginal. In fact, given the topic of “dreams” I bet you’ve already guessed what it is. Yeah, it’s that bad.

Despite flaws in the story I will say Julia Sarah Stone is great in the lead role. Credit where credit is due.

Best moment: Sarah learning the truth about the sleep study.

Rating: 3/10

Nobody

Hutch (Bob Odenkirk) is presented as your average suburban dad. One night his home is invaded by a pair of robbers. After deciding to let them go — there wasn’t much to take anyway — he feels emasculated. Something in him is re-awakened; specifically his past work as “auditor,” which turns out to be more of an asskicker role than a financial one.

Borrowing his dad’s FBI badge, Hutch tracks down the thieves only to find they’re extremely desperate. He gives up but on his way home a bunch of young Russian punks terrorize a girl on a bus. Hutch resolves the issue by beating all the punks to within inches of their lives.

Naturally, one of the guys he beat up on that bus is related to a scary Russian mobster, leaving Hutch no choice but to single-handedly take down an entire mob.

Much of what makes this film work is the casting choices. Bob Odenkirk is totally believable as a suburban dad, but as a one man killing machine? It’s just so ridiculous that you can’t help but to laugh. Likewise for Hutch’s dad, a scary ex FBI agent with a huge stash of guns played by — who else? — Christopher Lloyd. 

This is one of those films where if you watch the trailer, you pretty much know what you’re in for. That isn’t to say there are no twists or anything but if the trailer is appealing you’re going to enjoy the movie.

One thing I personally found amusing is that most of the time when you see characters in a movie using a computer, it’s either product placement, some generic operating system that looks like it could be either Windows or Mac OS, or something completely ridiculous like that 3D file system in Jurassic Park. In this film we see a Russian hacker running Ubuntu Linux with its recognizable custom Gnome 3 shell… something a real hacker might actually use.

Best moment: The spectacular way in which the gangsters’ plan to kidnap Hutch backfires.

Rating: 8/10

Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar

Barb and Star, a pair of eccentric middle aged women who “worked” in a furniture store find themselves laid off and directionless. Ostracized from their group of equally eccentric middle aged friends they decide to take a vacation together to — you guessed it — Vista Del Mar.

Meanwhile, a group of villains are planning on killing the entire population of Vista Del Mar using deadly mosquitos. In an “Austin Powers” like move both Star and lead villain Sharon are played by the movie’s co-creator Kristen Wiig. Sharon’s murderous intentions stem from being embarrassed as a child at Vista Del Mar’s annual seafood festival.

Barb and Star wind up unintentionally taking drugs and dancing with one of the evil henchmen, Edgar, accidentally disrupting the plan.

The movie never quite finds its sweet spot, wavering between a journey of self discovery in the Barb and Star subplot and the ridiculous scene chewing in the villain’s subplot. It doesn’t help that Barb and Star come across as mildly annoying and half fleshed out characters.

While the overall premise is funny, what this movie lacks is connective tissue between comedic beats up until the last quarter of the movie. By that point I can’t help but to feel the average viewer may have sighed and thrown in the towel.

This is a difficult movie to rate. As a comedy it’s occasionally dull until the end when it all comes together. The problem is there’s a runtime of 107 minute but maybe 80 minutes of it feel necessary. 

Best moment: The reveal that both Barb and Star are each running away with Edgar separately.

Rating: 6/10

Boss Level

Roy, a former soldier turned alcoholic is stuck in a Groundhog’s Day style time loop where he’s the only one who recalls the previous events. But unlike Groundhog’s Day this isn’t merely about trying to improve his life, it’s about maintaining it: the same killers come after him every day and he has to learn how to fight them all off, dying day after day just to get one step further.

Oh and to make things worse he has no idea who’s after him or why. To the audience it’s all clearly connected to a military project run by an evil contractor (Mel Gibson, surrounded by a cloud of cigar smoke) and his unwitting scientist, Roy’s ex-wife (Naomi Watts.)

Without saying too much throughout the violent action/sci-fi/comedy there’s a recurring video game motif (hence the name of the movie) that only sort of makes sense toward the end without ever coming completely full circle.

While it’s by no means a great film, there’s enough campy, quirky humor with some genuinely great quips where  I could see it become one of those B-movies which eventually lands as a sleeper hit. This assumes the right audience finds it though, and to be honest I have no idea what the “right” audience would be for this film.

Again I don’t like to include spoilers in these reviews but the ending is deeply lacking and unsatisfying. Supposedly they filmed more than one ending, so it’s totally possible this gets re-released as a better film in the future.

Best moment: When Roy finally realizes killing all the bad guys isn’t nearly enough.

Rating: 4/10

Super Mario Bros: The Morton Jankel Cut

Normally I only review new movies in these blog entries, but here I’m reviewing a new cut of an old movie — a movie that’s pretty much universally hated — the 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie.

There’s a lot of backstory as to why the film was such a disaster, but the short version is that co-creators Morton and Jankel had a vision for the movie that significantly clashed with what Hollywood Pictures (aka Disney) had in mind. Specifically, Morton and Jankel were the creators of Max Headroom and wanted to create something with a similar gritty steampunk vibe. The studio on the other hand wanted a family friendly film. The result? A movie with a wildly inconsistent tone and a story that’s borderline incomprehensible.

This new cut is the work of artist Garrett Gilchrist who took an early workprint of the film on VHS, restored it, and re-edited the entire movie to include missing scenes and even restored/modified some of the soundtrack. According to Gilchrist there will be a cut that incorporates better quality footage from the Blu Ray release in the future.

The footage that was edited back in is very obvious as it includes timestamps over the footage, as was typical of workprints at that time. This additional footage ranges from short sequences which add a small amount of context to entirely “new” scenes that were edited out of the theatrical cut.

At the end of the day the real question is, does this edit redeem the movie? The short answer is no; the story is a mess, but a much better organized mess. The longer answer is that it’s still an improvement over the original cut and I think for those interested in watching this movie as a historical curiosity this is the best cut to watch of the two available. I also want to point out that like some movies released around the same (Jurassic Park, etc.) the special effects and early computer graphics largely hold up.

So for this edit I’ll give it an A for effort but… there’s only so much even the best editor can do to polish a turd. Still, aside from some missing audio here and there and a brief moment with missing composite effects this is clearly an improvement over the theatrical release — but mostly because it’s not bafflingly incoherent.

Let me repeat that again: this is the first time I’ve watched this movie and actually understood what was happening.

I should note it’s probably not technically legal to watch this movie, but… who cares? There’s absolutely no reason to watch the original, and even this version is still an exercise in self-punishment.

Best moment: The new (to us) Iggy and Spike rap sequence, which finally explains why Koopa turns against them.

Rating: 3/10 (The theatrical cut may not even deserve a 1/10 so this is intended as high praise to the editor.)

Luca

Off the coast of Italy, a pair of small-time fishermen accidentally discover a young “sea monster.” As we soon discover the sea monster’s name is Luca and he lives in an underwater village of his fellow brethren along with some dopey fish. In his society the humans boating around above them are “land monsters” which they’re terrified of. Luca is curious about these land monsters and some of the technology he managed to steal from the fishermen, like a record player (the first indicator of when this story is set.)

After a chance encounter with Alberto, an older boy sea monster, they swim up to the surface together where they do “the change,” transforming into their human counterparts — something Luca was warned never to do by his parents. Yes this is a similar concept as The Little Mermaid but the comparison between the stories pretty much ends there.

The pair slowly learn about human life in Italy circa 1960 through trial and error, making this a fish out of water story in the most literal of ways. I don’t want to spoil the whole story but it involves a somewhat convoluted quest to acquire a Vespa and standing up to a bully.

The animation really nails a realistic looking Italian seaside village and perhaps more impressively the motion of water — something notoriously difficult to animate. Unfortunately this has the unintended consequence of making the human characters look out of place, particularly the ones with more cartoony character designs. Still, that’s a minor quibble as Pixar’s animation has improved in leaps and bounds in recent years and this film is no exception.

At first the idea that Luca and Alberto change back to sea monsters as soon as they get wet is treated like a joke that never quite sticks the landing. However toward the end of the movie it winds up redeeming itself as it becomes integral to the story.

The voice acting is on point in this film especially considering the main roles are all voiced by effectively unknown teenage actors playing against a strong supporting cast that includes Sacha Baron Cohen and stand up comedy legend Jim Gaffigan.

Even by Pixar’s standards this is an amazing film, but it’s even more impressive when you consider the entire team was working from home due to the pandemic.

Best moment: The surprisingly happy ending.

Rating: 10/10

Pig

Rob, (Nicolas Cage) a local celebrity chef turned recluse lives in the woods of Oregon with his pet truffle hunting pig. Rob trades his truffles to a wealthy yuppie named Amir in exchange for ingredients and supplies. When Rob’s pig is kidnapped in a violent attack, Amir takes Rob back to Portland to find his beloved pig. Despite his disheveled and bloody appearance Rob is still recognized by every chef.

Now any time you have a movie featuring Nic Cage you have to ask yourself, is this going to be one of those “Nic Cage movies?” Willy’s Wonderland (see above) is certainly one of them. Or the Wicker Man remake (“NOT THE BEES!”) But then you have movies like Adaptation and Leaving Las Vegas proving Cage is a perfectly serious actor when he’s working with a serious script.

Despite its unusual premise this film fits squarely in the latter category. It boils down to the fact that the mystery of tracking down the pig isn’t really what this movie is about: it’s a portrait of a broken man.

Or should that be broken men? Every single chef Rob meets in the world of fine dining is sketchy, empty inside, or both. While it’s never said outright the theft of the pig merely seems as though it was merely one minor event in some dark underbelly of the restaurant scene. Except of course for Rob — for him it’s personal.

Pretty much everything about this film works. It looks fantastic though some small part of that could be chalked up to the forests of the Pacific Northwest. The pace isn’t leisurely though it takes a leisurely pace at the right moments. And while there aren’t many characters they’re all perfectly cast.

First time film writer/director Michael Sarnoski clearly set himself up to win here and he largely did. What doesn’t quite work is the tendency of the story to bring up more questions than answers: we learn a lot about these characters but the film leans heavily on the actors to sell their inner struggles without offering much insight on their pasts.

Best moment: Rob bringing a grown man to tears (I won’t tell you how or why, just go watch the movie.)

Rating: 8/10