Archive for January, 2013

Sidewalk trademark violation

January 24th, 2013

49ers sidewalk art

Look, I know you love the 49ers. You’re a rabid fan; painting yourself in the team colors, going to every game, drinking until you pass out.

But you can’t show your appreciation for a team by scraping their logo into the cement. No, not because you’re defacing public property, but because you’re violating precious NFL trademarks.

Football is a business, and by stealing the NFL’s intellectual property, you’re basically stealing from your favorite players. How are they going to put food on the table for their families?

So next time, instead of scratching team names into wet cement, let’s show our true love for our local teams the only way we can — by purchasing officially licensed $60 jerseys.

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Facebook’s targeted advertising isn’t

January 22nd, 2013

Not exactly targeted advertising

ZOMG with all these new privacy violations Facebook advertisers know EVERYTHING about you and stalk your every movement and…

…wait, they think I want Mission burritos delivered to the Marina?

Never mind.

I mean, they’re right about me being lazy enough to get a burrito delivered instead of walking three blocks, but the Marina? Come on.

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Make Copy’s Key’s

January 22nd, 2013

Make Copy's Key's

On Mission near 17th there’s a handwritten sign in a store window that reads:

Make
Copy’s
Key’s

Q: Can you spot the gramatical errors on the above sign?
A: No. There are so many problems it’s impossible to assign a concrete number. For example, should the sign say “We make copies of keys”? Or maybe it could simply read “Keys copied”? Regardless, there’s more than one correct answer. The only thing we can say for certain is that apostrophes should not be involved.

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The iPhone with the untraceable manufacturer

January 20th, 2013

“The tech inside is military grade, I can’t even trace the manufacturer.”
— Arrow season 1 episode 10

Come on, your average Best Buy employee could “trace the manufacturer” of an iPhone 4. I’m starting to think this town only needs Archer McRockabs because of their incompetent police force.

Arrow hooks you with action and drama, but you’ll stay for the facepalm-worthy moments.

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YOU ROCK

January 17th, 2013

YOU ROCK

“YOU ROCK” proclaims a cardboard sign at 15th and Minna.

But that’s not any old piece of cardboard, no sir. It’s an album cover from a record; the soundtrack to Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrenece, composed and performed by Yellow Magic Orchestra keyboardist Ryuichi Sakamoto.

I mean, like, duh.

The URL on the bottom of the sign takes you to LoveYou2.org, a blog about a project to spread positive messages to the world in an endless variety of mediums and formats.

The piece I found is part of a series documented in this blog post. Looks like there’s a few others around the neighborhood I have yet to locate.

If I find any more of this series I’ll update this post with locations.

UPDATE Jan 17: This one featuring The Best of Édith Piaf is on Capp and 16th on the fence outside the Walgreens parking lot.
YOU ROCK #2

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Not the recommended way to secure your bicycle

January 16th, 2013

TP'd bike

Chains? U-locks? Bicycle frames with built-in locking mechanisms? Sure, you could use any of these methods in prevention of bicycle thievery. But one enterprising local has apparently discovered a new way to secure your bicycle: toilet paper.

If potential thieves can even spot your bike under the shroud of TP, will they be able to tear through it all before the cops arrive? Probably not — as anyone who’s ever suffered a TP attack can tell you, it takes a while to clean it all up.

Unfortunately, the TP method has several drawbacks:

  • Paper is not as sturdy as a U-lock
  • Metal locks don’t get soggy in the rain
  • Street-crapping crackheads might use your bicycle lock to wipe themselves

Unless a solution can be found to these issues, toilet paper cannot be recommended for bicycle security.

(Spotted at 16th and Albion.)

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Piece of human shit ruins Lone Star Swan mural

January 11th, 2013

Lone Star Swan mural is ruined

Lately Clarion Alley has been hit by wave after wave of vandalism. Yes, this is why we can’t have nice things.

I’ve been curious as to how long it’d take before the wonderful Lone Star Swan mural would get defaced, and unfortunately I now have the answer. Over the past few days, some piece of human shit came in and spray painted their fucking tag all over the entire mural.

Taggers are like dogs that use spray paint to mark their territory instead of urine. At least piss washes off, a fact that places taggers a few steps below dogs in the intelligence ladder.

If you taggers insist on ruining art, at least have the decency to replace it with something meaningful. Perhaps a new piece, or some kind of social commentary? For fuck’s sake, it’s not that hard to add value instead of just shitting on other people’s work. Grow up.

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