Not the recommended way to secure your bicycle

TP'd bike

Chains? U-locks? Bicycle frames with built-in locking mechanisms? Sure, you could use any of these methods in prevention of bicycle thievery. But one enterprising local has apparently discovered a new way to secure your bicycle: toilet paper.

If potential thieves can even spot your bike under the shroud of TP, will they be able to tear through it all before the cops arrive? Probably not — as anyone who’s ever suffered a TP attack can tell you, it takes a while to clean it all up.

Unfortunately, the TP method has several drawbacks:

  • Paper is not as sturdy as a U-lock
  • Metal locks don’t get soggy in the rain
  • Street-crapping crackheads might use your bicycle lock to wipe themselves

Unless a solution can be found to these issues, toilet paper cannot be recommended for bicycle security.

(Spotted at 16th and Albion.)