Posts Tagged ‘disney’

Disneyland comes to The Mission

November 24th, 2013

The New Mission: Haute, Yet Edgy

Good news, everyone! Disneyland is coming to the Mission!

A recent street stencil breaks the news. I called up Disney’s headquarters for more information. Here’s the scoop:

  • Unlike Disney’s other parks, this one will be both “haute” and “edgy” with cast members playing hobos, hipsters, and street drunks. Keeping with the theme, a scary Tomorrowland ride called BART will whisk you from one end of the park to the other.

  • There will be plenty of places to eat, although they’re all a bit expensive for what you get. And of course there will be numerous gift shops selling cheap junk at ridiculous prices — but you’ll buy a souvenir anyway because that’s what people do.

  • Other attractions will include Goofy’s Art Alley, The Hunchback of San Francisco de Asis, Haunted Denim Shop’s Ghostly Price Tag Scare, and Snow White’s Naughty Vibrator Emporium. When you’re done, why not relax in Kermit the Frog’s Dolores Park Village?

  • Be prepared for long lines. You might want to bring something to read, and be sure to wear comfortable shoes.

Commercialization in effigy of San Francisco landmark

July 13th, 2011

Until recently, Disney’s California Adventure wasn’t noteworthy. It was the theme park best known for the Graveroller, a ride where you could watch the animatronic corpse of Walt Disney rolling inside of a fiberglass model of his grave.

But now the park is changing. California Adventure recently unveiled a Little Mermaid themed ride — a ride which desecrates San Francisco with the commercialization (in effigy) of a glorious local landmark, the Palace of Fine Arts.

The Palace is best known for appearing on postcards and as a wedding photo backdrop.

Disney’s decision to commercialize a scale model of the Palace of Fine Arts must not be tolerated. This move is clearly a middle-finger to San Francisco, a city which is serious about protesting the commercialization of public property. But we do enjoy irony, which is why the Walt Disney Family Museum is located on public land.

I’m calling on all true San Franciscans to march to Disney’s California Adventure and stage a protest at the site of this effigy. Unfortunately it’s not free to enter the theme park. (Wise protesters will bring a coupon.)

Photo of Disney attraction from here