Proposition U (the “Sin Tax” Legislation)


It’s voting day, and this flyer appeared on various utility poles near 16th and Mission this morning.

The text reads:

Proposition U (the “Sin Tax” Legislation)

Argument In Favor of Proposition U:

No pleasure without pain.

Rebuttal to Argument in Favor of Proposition U:

Beware the wiles of mustachioed ladies. Are we really okay with a one-eyed King? Say wolverines, or badgers, scratch through the low window, behind the Hydrangeas. Or a possum. Or an opossum? Either way — they’re still inside the house.

Argument Opposed to Proposition U:

If dolphins were larger, would they have old tires stuck around their heads, instead of old six-pack rings? Tracking polls indicate near universal acceptance of [argument]. We need to get back to defiling the native architecture.

Rebuttal to Argument Opposed to Proposition U:

There sits one day in a place far away a little girl and her doll. And her doll could be at risk and her risk could be very real even if the doll’s imaginary friend ran for office.

Paid Argument In Favor of Proposition U:

It’s like I said before. Your ship as come in, buddy! Stop fighting it.

Paid Argument Opposed to Proposition U:

A voter walks into a bar. He — and let’s just say it’s a he — sits down at a table. And let’s just say a gal comes over and sits on his lap. It’s a free country.

What do you think, readers? How are you going to vote on Proposition U?