{"id":2197,"date":"2012-11-09T09:10:05","date_gmt":"2012-11-09T09:10:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/?p=2197"},"modified":"2023-07-13T17:11:04","modified_gmt":"2023-07-13T17:11:04","slug":"how-to-be-a-decent-airplane-passenger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/rant\/how-to-be-a-decent-airplane-passenger\/","title":{"rendered":"How to be a decent airplane passenger"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/wildhaber\/5976264120\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/farm7.staticflickr.com\/6144\/5976264120_7476b52226.jpg\" alt=\"airplane\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Look. I&#8217;ve been doing far too much airplane travel recently. Like most of us, I&#8217;m not traveling on private jets; I&#8217;m flying &#8220;economy&#8221; on commercial airlines. Airplanes, airports &#8212; it always sucks. At best, the experience isn&#8217;t complete bullshit. At worst, the stench of airline food will make you beg for death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here&#8217;s my advice on how to be a decent person throughout your air travels. If we all follow these simple rules, the entire airline experience will suck a lot less for everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Follow along and take notes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Security<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>The rules are usually posted all over the place, so don\u2019t hold up the line because you forgot to take your shoes off or throw away your water bottle.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Yes the security can be demeaning in the United States. If you want to opt out of the scan, just say so. But you don\u2019t need to be a dick about it to the employees. Harassing the security staff will make the other passengers think you\u2019re an asshole &#8212; and they\u2019ll be correct.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Boarding<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Check in your luggage. Don\u2019t be one of those carry-on abusers who brings a giant suitcase on board that takes up half an overhead bin.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You can board at any time after they call you row. So why rush to be the first one on? Unless you\u2019re one of those aforementioned carry-on abusers, spending an extra 30 minutes on a stinky airplane isn\u2019t an advantage. Don\u2019t wait in line, just walk in when everyone else already sat down.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Sitting in coach<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Squirming wildly the entire flight is not fair to the person behind you. Letting your child repeatedly kick the seat is not fair to the person in front of you. Don\u2019t be a dick.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Here\u2019s the rule for armrests: if you take one, you can use that space and no more. Armrests are not an excuse to elbow someone in the gut.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>As for who gets which armrest, it\u2019s simple: the person squeezed on the inside gets it. If there\u2019s four people side by side, only the armrest in the center is in play.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>If the person in front of you wants to lean back, that\u2019s their call. Need the extra space? Tough luck, cheapass. You should have shelled out for extra space.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Does your baby scream and cry repeatedly for dozens of hours on end? If so, have the decency to cancel your flight. I\u2019m sure your \u201cfamily emergency\u201d or whatever is important, but that doesn\u2019t give you the right to make the next 10 hours of a bunch of stranger\u2019s lives completely miserable.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Nothing wrong with talking to your neighbors, but being extremely chatty is obnoxious. I don\u2019t need a 10 hour lecture on collecting flowers. Know when to STFU.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Video-on-demand<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>If you\u2019re sitting next to a young child, you probably should think twice before watching Ultraviolent Sex Horror III.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>If you sit there with the map open the entire flight, it\u2019s like shouting \u201cARE WE THERE YET\u201d the whole time.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>For fuck\u2019s sake, bring your own headphones. You won\u2019t be able to hear anything with the piece of shit ones they hand out anyway.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Food and drink service<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Bring your own. And you\u2019d better eat before they start microwaving the airline food, because the entire plane is going to smell like rotten farts for the rest of the flight, and the bathroom will smell like death.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>If you\u2019re going to order a bunch of coffee or booze every time they offer it, take the extra five seconds to request an aisle seat. It\u2019s the least you can do.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Bathroom<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>You went before getting on, right? Don\u2019t be one of those dumbasses who does the \u201cI have to pee\u201d dance behind the food cart.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Just because the seat belt sign turned off doesn\u2019t mean you have to go mob the bathrooms with everyone else. Have some restraint.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Landing<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>You know that whole \u201ccaptain has turned off the seatbelt sign\u201d thing? Follow it, or risk getting knocked on your ass. It\u2019s there for a reason.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Just like boarding the plane, there\u2019s no reason to be the first one off. If there\u2019s no room to stand up, then don\u2019t. Wait your turn.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Airplane seat pockets are not garbage cans. Leave a magazine here if you want, but not gum or burritos.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&nbsp;<br>&nbsp;<br><em>Photo by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/wildhaber\">Wildhaber<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Look. I&#8217;ve been doing far too much airplane travel recently. Like most of us, I&#8217;m not traveling on private jets; I&#8217;m flying &#8220;economy&#8221; on commercial [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_eb_attr":"","slim_seo":{"title":"How to be a decent airplane passenger - MrEricSir.com","description":"Look. I've been doing far too much airplane travel recently. Like most of us, I'm not traveling on private jets; I'm flying \"economy\" on commercial airlines. Ai"},"autoblue_enabled":true,"autoblue_custom_message":"","autoblue_shares":[],"autoblue_post_url":"","autoblue_publish_document":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[849,851,850,222],"class_list":["post-2197","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rant","tag-airlines","tag-airplane","tag-howto","tag-travel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2197","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2197"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2197\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10148,"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2197\/revisions\/10148"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2197"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2197"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2197"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}