{"id":10774,"date":"2024-07-29T22:50:43","date_gmt":"2024-07-29T22:50:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/?p=10774"},"modified":"2024-07-29T22:50:45","modified_gmt":"2024-07-29T22:50:45","slug":"in-the-know-with-clifford-banes-the-onions-best-show","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/humor-2\/in-the-know-with-clifford-banes-the-onions-best-show\/","title":{"rendered":"In The Know with Clifford Banes: The Onion&#8217;s best show"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now that The Onion has been acquired by <a href=\"https:\/\/variety.com\/2024\/digital\/news\/the-onion-sold-global-tetrahedron-1235982383\/\">Global Tetrahedron<\/a> I&#8217;d love to see them bring back their best content. For those who don&#8217;t remember here&#8217;s the quick summary: the glory days of The Onion were before it was acquired by Univision, merged with the decrypt remains of Gawker after that Hulk Hogan\/Peter Thiel mess, and sold off to some hedge fund as G\/O Media. It wasn&#8217;t their best era. So far the new owners seem on board with their brand of humor at least, so there&#8217;s reason to be hopeful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;In The Know with Clifford Banes&#8221; was their <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Crossfire_(American_TV_program)\">CNN Crossfire<\/a>-style debate show parody that somehow managed to mock the format in every conceivable way. The alleged host Clifford Banes was never seen due to various implausible excuses. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We need this show to come back. Here are some of the greatest episodes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-4-3 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"In The Know: Are Tests Biased Against Students Who Don&#039;t Give A Shit?\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/2RrreVthWRY?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Are Tests Biased Against Students Who Don&#8217;t Give A Shit?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Premise: Testing is pointless because everybody is a lazy moron.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Excuse for Clifford Banes&#8217; absence: He&#8217;s fighting his nemesis atop an abandoned clock tower.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Best quote: &#8220;What about all the historical figures who didn&#8217;t give a fuck about anything?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-4-3 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Should More Americans Get In On The EZ-Go Juicer Craze?\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/xEFL4mZa8ys?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Should More Americans Get In On The EZ-Go Juicer Craze?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Premise: It&#8217;s a commercial for a juicer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Excuse for Clifford Banes&#8217; absence: He ran someone over in the parking lot about an hour ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Best quote: &#8220;If I understand correctly, you&#8217;re saying that if customers act now they can have all this for four easy payments of $29.99?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-4-3 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"AA Destroying The Social Lives Of Thousands Of Once-Fun Americans\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/n86JKqA8o4w?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>AA Destroying The Social Lives Of Thousands Of Once-Fun Americans<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Premise: Alcoholic&#8217;s Anonymous is a dangerous addiction that destroys people&#8217;s lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Excuse for Clifford Banes&#8217; absence: He&#8217;s slowly counting backwards from 100.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Best quote: &#8220;What&#8217;s in your cup? What&#8217;s the matter? Why aren&#8217;t you drinking?!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-4-3 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Report: Growing Ranks Of Nouveau Poor Facing Discrimination From Old Poor\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/05RZJxDIhTU?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Growing Ranks Of Nouveau Poor Facing Discrimination From Old Poor<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Premise: There&#8217;s a problematic class divide between various levels of poverty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Excuse for Clifford Banes&#8217; absence: He&#8217;s being fitted for a sarcophagus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Best quote: &#8220;Sounds like mansion trash.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Should Adults Be Allowed To Bring Kids To R-Rated Movies Where We Masturbate?\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Jwhy6cxOZlI?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Should Adults Be Allowed To Bring Kids To R-Rated Movies Where We Masturbate?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Premise: All adults are uncontrollable sex addicts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Excuse for Clifford Banes&#8217; absence: This is the only episode he&#8217;s in&#8230; supposedly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Best quote: &#8220;Nowadays you go to a film with Frances McDormand, you&#8217;re almost guaranteed to see me ejaculating all over the armrests.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-4-3 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Is The Government Spying On Schizophrenics Enough?\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/FzoXQKumgCw?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Is The Government Spying On Schizophrenics Enough?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Premise: The best way to treat people suffering from paranoid schizophrenia is with secret invasive technology.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Excuse for Clifford Banes&#8217; absence: Unmentioned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Best quote: &#8220;I think what would be great would be a recorded voice on a loop saying everyone around you wants to get you&#8230; in reference to help.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-4-3 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Are Reality Shows Setting Unrealistic Standards For Skanks?\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/mE3gWZk4AEo?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Are Reality Shows Setting Unrealistic Standards For Skanks?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Premise: It devolves into a reality show with shaky handheld cameras.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Excuse for Clifford Banes&#8217; absence: He&#8217;s regaling the interns with tales of his days at sea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Best quote: &#8220;When I would turn on the TV and see a skank on a dirtbike in a tube top, miniskirt, no underwear, trying to win an exclusive date with a C-list celebrity who wouldn&#8217;t even remember her name it hurt because I knew that I could never reach that level of skankiness myself.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-4-3 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"In The Know: Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized?\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/0McggLIYmnE?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Premise: Americans have lost touch with the true origins of Halloween.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Excuse for Clifford Banes&#8217; absence: He&#8217;s staying off the grid until things cool down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Best quote: &#8220;Everybody, get out your amulets!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Now that The Onion has been acquired by Global Tetrahedron I&#8217;d love to see them bring back their best content. For those who don&#8217;t remember [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_eb_attr":"","slim_seo":{"title":"In The Know with Clifford Banes: The Onion's best show - MrEricSir.com","description":"Now that The Onion has been acquired by Global Tetrahedron I'd love to see them bring back their best content. For those who don't remember here's the quick sum"},"autoblue_enabled":true,"autoblue_custom_message":"","autoblue_shares":[],"autoblue_post_url":"","autoblue_publish_document":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1338],"tags":[1498,1083,322],"class_list":["post-10774","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor-2","tag-clifford-banes","tag-the-onion","tag-videos"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10774","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10774"}],"version-history":[{"count":28,"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10774\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10802,"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10774\/revisions\/10802"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10774"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10774"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mrericsir.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10774"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}