Archive for the ‘Local’ Category

Recipe theft: Cafe Madeleine’s butter lettuce salad with goat cheese

April 28th, 2015

Butter lettuce salad

Every now and then you eat something at a cafe or restaurant that’s so good, you have to reverse engineer the recipe and make it yourself. Such is the case with San Francisco mini-chain Cafe Madeleine and their excellent butter lettuce salad.

Don’t know what butter lettuce is? Sometimes it’s called butterhead, Boston lettuce or bibb. You can find it at farmer’s markets, Whole Foods, Rainbow, etc., sold with the roots still attached. It’s kind of like romaine lettuce, except it’s actually good. Fuck romaine.

Vinaigrette:

  • Two parts olive oil
  • One part red wine vinegar

Do you really need directions? Pour it in a bottle and shake it up!
 

Salad:

  • Half a head of butter lettuce, washed and stems removed
  • Small handful of garbanzo beans (aka chickpeas)
  • Half a radish, thinly sliced
  • 1/4 to 1/2 an avocado, sliced
  • 3 cherry tomatoes, cut in half
  • A couple spoonfuls of goat cheese

Put everything in a bowl and drizzle some vinaigrette over the thing. Salt and pepper to taste. Boom, done!

La Cumbre’s new paint job boldly stakes claim to Mission-style burrito’s origin

April 20th, 2015

La Cumbre's new paint job

Recently Taqueria La Cumbre on Valencia got a fire engine red paint job. But far more bold than the color scheme is the claim painted on the building: “Birthplace of the Mission Style Burrito.”

As with any such claim, it’s a hotly contested one. As Wikipedia notes it’s not clear if Mission-style burritos were invented in San Francisco at all. Further adding to the confusion, La Cumbre’s “birthplace” claim refers to the building rather than La Cumbre because the burritos were originally sold there when a meat market occupied the space.

The truth is out there, but until someone invents a time machine we’ll never know for certain where Mission-style burritos came from. If anyone reading this happens to have a time machine and wants to research this, please give me a call — especially if it’s around lunch time.

Top 5 strangest things in Little Delhi’s Twitter feed

April 5th, 2015


Photo from littledelhisf.com

 
One of my favorite Indian restaurants in San Francisco is Little Delhi in the Tenderloin. Great food, reasonable prices, and they offer takeout and delivery. Can’t recommend them enough!

But you’d never know how great Little Delhi’s food is judging by their completely off the rails Twitter feed. Here’s the top 5 strangest things they’ve posted on Twitter so far.
 

5. The word “Restaurant.”

Their first Tweet back in 2010 is simply the word “Restaurant.” Not a bad start — after all Little Delhi is a restaurant. Maybe a tweet isn’t the right place for this information but at least it’s true and relevant.

 
4. Netflix’s login URL

If you visit the URL in this tweet you’ll be taken to a page where you can log in to your Netflix account. While Netflix might be useful for takeout customers who are looking for a TV show to binge on while eating, most customers probably have this information already. If not, Netflix is a quick Google search away.

 
3. Some lady reviewing a Play-Doh set on YouTube

Little Delhi is so excited about this woman’s toy review on YouTube that their tweet includes not one but two hearts! Hopefully no Play-Doh extruders are being used in food preparation, although personally I don’t really care as long as they clean the Play-Doh out first.

 
2. An iOS app that turns photos into caricatures

This tweet links you to an iOS app that turns photos into caricatures. I can’t even think of something snarky to say about how this could possibly be related to Little Delhi, that’s how strange this one is. Also, the app has terrible reviews.

 
1. Whatever the fuck this thing is

Finally, their #1 strangest tweet links to a surreal and somewhat disturbing video. The video’s creator took a certain European stop motion cartoon and edited it with new sounds and visual effects. And while I’m no World War 2 expert, I’m pretty sure that one guy’s voice is a recording of Adolph Hitler. Not normally the kind of thing one would associate with traditional North Indian cuisine.

 
So there you have it: this has got to be the strangest Twitter feed of any restaurant in the city. If you want to see more feel free to head over to their Twitter feed yourself. But you’d might as well call in an order for curry and naan while you’re at it.

Everything you do is a balloon

March 29th, 2015

Everything you do is a balloon
Spotted at 21st and Mission
 

I imagine the conversation went a little something like this:

“Hey, how should we decorate our storefront?”
“Well, all I have is this bike pump and a drawer full of balloons.”
“Uh… *scratches head* sounds kinda like a plan!”

And there you have it; a storefront filled with balloons.

(With apologies to Boards of Canada.)

New murals on Dolores St.

March 20th, 2015

Across from Dolores Park there’s a Christian Science church that’s been shuttered for a number of years. Recently a developer wanted to turn it into housing, but so far that hasn’t happened.

Instead it got boarded up, and now those boards have been filled with some spiffy new murals by fnnch, Analog Monsters, MaxEhrman and others.
 

Dolores St. murals Dolores St. murals Dolores St. murals Dolores St. murals Dolores St. murals Dolores St. murals

A furry companion?

March 16th, 2015

Over the weekend, several folks on Twitter pointed out an over-the-top, only in San Francisco dating ad on Craigslist. A young man has decided that he’s going to become a millionaire, and wants a woman to support him in this endeavor.

The original post is here. But since Craigslist posts expire, I’ve copied and pasted the entire ad:

Posted: 8 days ago
A Companion to Support Me on My Way to Become a Millionaire – 26 (pacific heights)
 
age : 26
 
I am handsome and fit
 
I am confident and determined
 
I am fascinating
 
I am not hella funny, I am fuckin hilarious
 
=======
 
I am building a global company along with two local companies. I work hard and I am planning to reach the top. I will succeed, because that is what I do.
 
I am smart. I have three degrees. All Summa Cum Laude. One from Oxford and one from Edinburgh
 
I am wordly. I lived in several countries
 
I am a lion. I go to battle. I am not a spectator. I am on stage because I dare greatly.
 
I take responsibility for myself and have a hunger to accomplish my dreams Wanting something is not enough. You must hunger for it. Your motivation must be absolutely compelling in order to overcome the obstacles that will invariably come your way.
 
 
You:
 
I am shooting for the moon and I want a companion to support me on way there
 
I will break the relationship after our first fight. There are thousands of woman who want to take your place and live their dreams. We don’t fight. we will love each other, laugh, have fun, and go on adventures. Fights and drama are for less evolved miserable married couples. Drama and pressure come from outside life and we will help each other overcome it, but it will not come from the relationship It’s me and you against the world. And we will fuck the world because we are menacing lions.
 
I am your lottery ticket in this life. Support me, love me, and do everything I want, and you will have the world and everything it.
 
 
Things to understand:
 
Life has no limitations, except the ones you make.
 
You must take action now that will move you towards your goals. Develop a sense of urgency in your life. I know what I want. If you are what I want. I will marry and have you move in with me the next day.
 
You need to have goals and ambitions. You will not just sit around in the house.
 
I have money, and I will spoil you from time to time, but you will not be a trophy wife that goes shopping everyday. A lot of money will go to my company not your dresses. But you will feel comfortable and you will not pay any more bills for the rest of your life. Once we reach the top, then you will get spoiled.
 
Just because Fate doesn’t deal you the right cards, it doesn’t mean you should give up. It just means you have to play the cards you get to their maximum potential. I am a full flush, take advantage of that.
 
Your ability to communicate is an important tool in your pursuit of your goals, whether it is with your family, your co-workers or your clients and customers. You need to have effective communication skills. This means that if we have a disagreement, it will be resolved very easily, will will not argue forever. In short, do you see the typical girls that fight with their boyfriends for hours. That is the enemy. Do you see the rare couples that have dreams, ambitions, and a clear destiny that makes it almost impossible to fight over dumb things like average couple who fight over dumb things because they have nothing else to do. Think of Frank Underwood and Clair from House of Cards, or even Jay Z and Beyonce. That is what I want. I am emphasizing this, because drama is my ultimate turn off.

 
 
If you are not that experienced and do not have a lot of knowledge, I do not mind to make you my protege as long as you work hard, read the books I give you, and do the things I tell you.
 
The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.
 
Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it.
 
Circumstances are the rulers of the weak; they are but the instruments of the wise
 
Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change. Perception is reality. you can create a perfect reality by creating the perfect perception
 
When in a relationship, a real man doesn’t make his woman jealous of others, he makes others jealous of his woman, and vice versa.
 
We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future
 
Listen to the impossible dream
 
 
Send a message with a face picture, and put “DREAM” in the subject line

do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

 

Yikes. But this raises a question: is it a genuine attempt at finding a lady, or a parody? There’s no way to tell — in extreme cases like this, sarcasm is imperceptible due to Poe’s Law. Still, who doesn’t remember the “I’m on top of the world!” feeling of being 26 years old and snorting your first line of coke?

Clearly this needed to be escalated either way. So I decided to respond the only way I really know how: with a couple shots of tequila and maximum troll mode engaged.
 

Subject: DREAM
 

Hey Lion,
 
You asked for a photo. This is me here in the center:
 

 

Please understand that while my inner body is male, my furry persona, Tigera, is a female (with fully functioning parts if you must know.) Like you, I have a powerful ambition to accomplish my dreams no matter what obstacle comes my way.
 
For example the zipper on my fursuit got stuck several years ago, but I’ve learned to overcome these circumstances in spite of the smell that comes with not having bathed in quite some time. No matter! Folks like you and me shoot for the moon, but we end up on Mars instead. Who has time for the moon? Neil Armstrong is a poser.
 
Maybe I’m not exactly what you had in mind, but like you said: perception IS reality. Value creating winners like us don’t let the rules dictate our lives because we’re the ones dictating the rules. Other people’s rules say you should go to a university and get good grades. To hell with that! I made my own rules: I went to every university in the world at the same time, took every single course, and graduated at the top of my class. All before lunch.
 
Do you think I answered my professors’ questions in class? Nope, circumstances only rule the weak. Instead the professors had questions for me, like “Why are you in that fursuit?” or “Can you take that thing off?” or “What’s that awful smell?” But I kept my mouth shut and powered through — that’s why I have over 83,064 Ph.Ds.
 
There wasn’t a filing cabinet big enough to hold all of my prestigious degrees, so I started a multinational chain of office supply stores specializing in over-sized filing cabinets, worked my little tiger butt off until it was a Fortune 500 company, then sold it to Office Max.
 
Should I ever escape my fursuit, I’m going to use my millions of dollars to buy a new one that has a built in jetpack and laser gun. I am Iron Man.
 
Anyway Mr. Lion, please drop a line if you like what you see. I have to go now to bench press an entire gym, but I’m very interested in your book recommendations.
 
All the best,
  - Tigera

 
Tigera has yet to hear back. I’ll update this post if she gets a response.

 
Legal: Furry photo copyright Flickr user Darkhorse Winterwolf. Used under a Creative Commons license.

BART needs platform walls

January 27th, 2015

Shanghai Metro

Recently we’ve had a number of cases in and around San Francisco where someone was hit by a train in a subway station. These tragedies — whether intentional suicides or simply accidents — have become common enough that we really should be doing something about it. It’s only fair for everyone involved.

Fortunately there’s a solution that already exists: walls. Specifically, walls with sliding doors that line up with the subway’s doors, just like how elevators have inner and outer sets of sliding doors.

Would you want to work in a building where the office elevator didn’t have outer doors, and instead you just stood next to an opening to the elevator shaft? No? Why should riding the subway be any different?

If you’ve ever taken the driverless airport tram at SFO (or many other airports) you’ve seen this first hand: there’s a glass wall between you and the tram, and the doors only open when the tram arrives. The tram only departs once both sets of doors are safely closed.

But this wall “technology” isn’t just for driverless trams — some major transit systems already have this, for example Shanghai Metro in the photo above. As the photo illustrates the yellow-tiled safety zone has been replaced by a thick piece of glass separating people from fast moving trains on the other side.

Walls have a side benefit as well: stopping the wind. No need to worry about holding a paper steady or having your hair re-arranged by the wind from a fast approaching train.

The good news is that BART has at least considered this recently, but so far they don’t seem to be in much of a hustle to build anything. That’s a shame for us all.

UPDATE:

Newly elected BART director Nick Josefowitz responded on Twitter:

Schedule your day like a skater

January 11th, 2015

Wake Bake Skate
Spotted in Clarion Alley

 

Sure, you could go to the library or a bookstore and find a book about optimizing your daily schedule. But that would involve reading more than three words, and therefore is a sub-optimal use of your time.

Instead, take the advice of the sticker I found on a wall in Clarion Alley and schedule your life like a skater. Wake, bake, skate. Sometimes the best things in life are the simplest.

11 Christmas gifts for a San Franciscan

December 10th, 2014

Holiday shopping is stressful enough without troubling yourself with figuring out what to buy for people. I mean, does your grandmother want a red scarf, or a green hat? Does your kid want a toy dump truck, or a Lego set? I’m getting a headache just thinking about it.

Fortunately for you, I’ve pre-assembled a listicle of eleven excellent Christmas gifts for the San Franciscan(s) in your life. Read on.

 
1. Lunchbox shaped like an Uber vehicle

If you want to get ahead in life, you have to break some rules — the more, the better. Teach your kids how staying several steps ahead of local regulations can net them billions in venture capital with this cute lunchbox.

 
2. Cisgender Barbie

Cisgender Barbie loves makeup and expensive shoes, but that’s because of who she is on the inside, not because of society’s expectations for someone assigned her gender at birth. Does that make her “normal”? No; let’s be honest, Barbie is a freak for entirely different reasons. And don’t get me started on Ken.
 

3. Officially-licensed Ed Lee mustache trimmer

Mayor Ed Lee had this mustache trimmer designed just for his own ‘stache. Only with this officially-licensed trimmer will you be able to achieve Lee’s timeless, manly look. Order today and we’ll throw in an autographed copy of Lee’s best selling men’s grooming book, “Mustache 2.0.”
 

4. “ZUCK”, aka Mark Zuckerberg cologne

The man… the legend… the scent. New from Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg: ZUCK cologne. It’s a scent like no other: a dash of figs, a pinch of sweat, a splash of Mountain Dew. Hack together a PHP script and accidentally fall into a pile of money? It could be you; you smell like ZUCK.
 

5. Four dollar toast-shaped earrings

Commemorate San Francisco’s boldest move yet into overpriced foodie hedonism with a pair of earrings patterned after The Mill’s infamous toast. Don’t settle for a cronut necklace, I hear those are already at Ross.
 

6. My first bicycle chop shop

What? These bikes I’m taking apart right here on the sidewalk? They’re mine, man! Of course I don’t have a receipt, don’t be ridiculous. I just take apart my own bikes on the sidewalk all the time, there’s no law against it. Have a nice day, officer.
 

7. Gingerbread luxury condo

Sure, it’s a fifth floor studio with no elevator, and your only view is a candy cane freeway overpass. But it has gumdrop countertops, and exposed M&M walls! Is it worth two million chocolate coins? Don’t bother asking, another kid just showed up with two and a half million chocolate coins, and now you don’t get to eat it. That’s life, kid.
 

8. Incoherent Gibberish or Possibly References You’re Not Hip Enough to Get by Dave Eggers

“I open the door and she’s standing in her nightgown facing me. She scowls. I’m reminded of my aunt. Those cold summer nights, gargling mouthwash. She turns on the radio but nothing happens. I get on the slide. We enter the drugstore. Seven.”
 

9. Gift basket from Dolores Park’s Weed Truffle Guy

Dude, did you leave the PBR at home again? Ah, fuck dude. But don’t worry, I got us covered bro — the Truffle Guy made me this sweet gift basket, it’s got like mad edibles dude. Hey man is that the Cold Beer Cold Water guy over there? Let’s grab some beer too bro. Get all our bases covered.
 

10. Talking Leland Yee plush toy

The Talking Leland Yee plush toy will say anything you want! Want him to endorse an assault rifle ban? Just stick $20 in his mouth! Want him to help purchase a grenade launcher from a shady Russian mobster? That’ll be another $20! But make sure you’re out of earshot of the authorities, or Talking Leland Yee may wind up in time out.
 

11. Christmas tree made entirely of kale

Real or artificial; how about neither? This Christmas tree is handmade from locally sourced, organic kale. While you can’t hang ornaments on it and it wilts after a couple of days, it contains far more micronutrients and antioxidants than a traditional tree.

Terrifying feat accomplished with suction cups

December 5th, 2014

Suction cups
 
While walking by the construction for LinkedIn’s new offices at 222 Second Street, I happened to notice some windows were being lifted up on a crane. How do you get a pane of glass from the street to 12 floors up?

Look closely: the only thing holding that windows is eight suction cups. That’s right, the technology behind your favorite childhood bath toys is now being used to hoist enormous panes of glass over a busy street. Let’s hope the workers remembered to lick them first for a better grip.